Lost

Have you ever felt completely lost? Or have you felt like you've lost everything and don't know where or how to start again

Last month I lost my dad. My dad whose love and kindness was so much a part of his character that you could feel it from thousands of miles away. My dad who 3 years after having a stroke, still would try his hardest to give you advice that was well thought out. My dad who would always sing and write songs and inspired in me the desire to do the same. That's the dad I lost. 

Being flooded out of my house on Halloween and still not being able to go home as of yet, has made me feel like I lost my home as well. Add that to some of the opportunities that seemed so sure and last minute they were lost with losing a member of the band and there you have it.... I feel lost. 

No one likes to feel lost. Period. Sure in retrospect someone might say that they were glad they were lost at a point in their life, but they never realize that until they find themselves again. Maybe that's why those lyrics have been able to stand the test of time, "I once was lost, but now am found." Because nothing feels better than to feel like you have a place. 

Even though I feel lost, the Cockeyed Optimist within refuses to give up hope. It doesn't make sense to be optimistic right now, but I figure I don't have much else to lose and that is surprisingly comforting. I will not give up faith. I will be found again. 

-Cynda