Just like going home...

...or so I was told. When the idea of playing a few songs for the students at my old school was presented to me, I have to admit that I was slightly resistant. 

Campbell Hall will always hold a special place in my heart. It was at that school that I discovered my love of Music and performing. I performed in front of a live audience for the first time when I was 14 and it was on that campus. But like many of us, high school holds some not so sweet memories. As a teen I was constantly picked on and bullied. It probably would come as no surprise to anyone reading this that I was once picked on because I wore a Gibson guitars jacket regularly my sophomore year. (You can't make this up.)

As the students filed into the gym I felt a bit of the nerves creep up. These kids only had vague ideas of who I was and who we as a band were and what we did. But I decided to do what we do best: dive in head first and give them the best of us. The response was thunderous! I could not have fathomed the reaction. I am truly humbled to have been given the reaction we got. I am thankful for the opportunity to show them what we do. And I am excited to go onwards and upwards!

- Sean


Have you ever felt completely lost? Or have you felt like you've lost everything and don't know where or how to start again

Last month I lost my dad. My dad whose love and kindness was so much a part of his character that you could feel it from thousands of miles away. My dad who 3 years after having a stroke, still would try his hardest to give you advice that was well thought out. My dad who would always sing and write songs and inspired in me the desire to do the same. That's the dad I lost. 

Being flooded out of my house on Halloween and still not being able to go home as of yet, has made me feel like I lost my home as well. Add that to some of the opportunities that seemed so sure and last minute they were lost with losing a member of the band and there you have it.... I feel lost. 

No one likes to feel lost. Period. Sure in retrospect someone might say that they were glad they were lost at a point in their life, but they never realize that until they find themselves again. Maybe that's why those lyrics have been able to stand the test of time, "I once was lost, but now am found." Because nothing feels better than to feel like you have a place. 

Even though I feel lost, the Cockeyed Optimist within refuses to give up hope. It doesn't make sense to be optimistic right now, but I figure I don't have much else to lose and that is surprisingly comforting. I will not give up faith. I will be found again. 


Tears #1

This month, I've cried a lot. Doors that have been open have slammed shut in my face. Relationships that I used to be so sure of have left me feeling empty inside. I look around and wonder why is it Christmastime because it doesn't feel like that to me. 

During this time I've had to learn how to adapt to the circumstances around me and be okay in them. There were two days this month in which I cried so much that I didn't want to eat or see any one. I got to that point where I actually cried so much that I feel asleep. But when I woke up the next day, even though no circumstances had changed overnight, somehow I felt better. It didn't make sense why I should feel better, but I did. 

That's exactly what being a Cockeyed Optimist is all about. Even when nothing makes sense, somehow you know that everything will be fine. So in this season of perpetual hope, I can pick myself up off the literal and figurative floor, wipe my eyes and blow my nose, stand up and take a step forward. 


Sweat #1

There are many times in our lives in which we have to eat our words. One such instance occurred a few weeks ago at our gig at the Mira Mesa Street Fair. I have been know to say that I don't sweat when I'm performing. I have also been known to give Sean guff for sweating before we even begin playing. 

Well at said gig, I was hot. I started sweating. I couldn't see. I thought I was going to pass out. As per this photo, you can see the redness in my face. 

I also had another word eating experience when trying to record the other day. I usually can't stand the brand Behringer when it comes to audio. Well, I set up my stereo microphones that I usually use and one didn't work. So I tried these stereo Behringer mics that I bought when I first started recording and guess what... they worked. 

As we grow, we often find out that we're not always right and that's OK. I'm sure there will be many more gigs where I'm covered in sweat and that's fine by me!


The Last Days of Summer

Well...here we are.

The summer has come to a close. Chances are you're probably sneaking a look at our shiny new website while trying to hide your phone from your professor/teacher/boss...and we thank you for that!

Although most bands would choose to attack the summer head-on with a barrage of gigs, releases, and hullabaloo we in CEO decided we needed to use the summer as a season of discovery. 

We spent more time together as a band: rehearsing, writing new music, and just hanging out as friends. We focused on doing good: spending some time with our nonprofit, I Am A Cockeyed Optimist, on the Vans Warped Tour. And most importantly, helping each other and growing as a band. This website is part of that. This blog is part of that. We're refreshed and ready for what comes next.

Take some time to browse our new website, including the Photos with some awesome pictures from our show at the Orange County Fair...taken by none other than Sean's little sister!

The end of summer is not always a favorite time of year. But maybe, Cynda singing you a song by The Cure will help ease the pain. We recorded this cover video last year high above the shores of the Pacific, live and in living color. We hope you enjoy it!

Keep your eyes here. See you this Fall.